You Don't Know Jack Doe

Jack Doe:
Professional Wizard

DC:

Wonder Woman is too difficult to find a movie audience for-

Marvel:

YO YOU LIKE BLACK WIDOW? HERE SHE IS IN THE NEXT CAPTAIN AMERICA MOVIE WITH A TON OF SCREENTIME AND MAJOR ASSKICKING SKILLS

DC:

We can't allow the lesbians in Batwoman to get married in the comic, sorry.

Marvel:

HEY GUESS WHAT WE'RE GONNA FEATURE A GAY WEDDING ON THE COVER OF AN X-MEN ISSUE

DC:

The new direction for storytelling needs to be dark, gritty, mature and cynical.

Marvel:

DUDE CHECK IT OUT LOKI GOES SPEED DATING IS THAT NOT THE BEST SHIT EVER

DC:

After years of rumors, the Superman/Batman movie is finally coming, but with a new actor and suit for Batman and MAYBE a cameo from Wonder Woman.

Marvel:

PHASE 2 MOTHERFUCKERS EVERYONE IS IN EVERYONE'S MOVIE AND THERE AIN'T NO STOPPIN US NOW

DC:

We can try to add maybe one or two 'people of color' to our lineup...maybe...

Marvel:

NEW MS MARVEL THAT'S MUSLIM AMERICAN, BITCHES.

DC:

We feel no problem with Batman's vengeful personality being like wet cardboard.

Marvel:

NEW LATINA GHOST RIDER WHO SEEKS VENGEANCE WHILE TAKING HIS AWEET LIL BRO FOR ICE CREAM

DC:

We can't mention any superhero titles in our movies, that's ridiculous.

Marvel:

FUCK YEAH YOU WANT A RACOON VOICED BY BRADLEY COOPER WITH A GIANT GUN? YOU WANT VIN DIESEL PLAYING A TREE? AMY FUCKING POND PLAYING A SEXY BALD SPACE PIRATE? HERE YOU FUCKERS GO

DC:

Our fanbase is mostly white males, I'm sure our focus is-

Marvel:

NEW SHE HULK LINE WHERE SHE GOES TO COURT THEN SAVES NEW YORK

DC:

Wait-

Marvel:

NEW FEMALE THOR

DC:

I didn't-

Marvel:

NEW BLACK CAPTAIN AMERICA

Marvel:

TAKE ALL THIS COOL SHIT MARVEL BE OUTIE

Marvel:

PEACE

best-of-memes:

this man won the internet

(via alter-ego-333)

stupidoomdoodles:

today on every dbz episode ever made

stupidoomdoodles:

today on every dbz episode ever made

(via flowergirlrobichiko)

previouslyonavatar:

clairvoy-ant:

constantlyrambling:

rorpie:

constantlyrambling:

rorpie:

MARCELINE AND BUBBLEGUM ARE G A Y

MARCELINE AND BUBBLEGUM HAVE BOTH EXPRESSED ATTRACTION TO MEN SO THEYRE PROBABLY B I S E X U A L

i don’t care

I do bc bisexuals have literally no representation in media lol get ur biphobia away from me pls

Ur sexualizing a children’s cartoon

saying a character in a children’s cartoon is not straight =/= sexualizing them

Naw, Peebles is totes ace yo

(via flowergirlrobichiko)

makanidotdot:

mom jokes

Just listen, and smile.

fuckyeahdnd:

Gary is officially the name for all of my annoying bit-part NPCs from now on.

fuckyeahdnd:

Gary is officially the name for all of my annoying bit-part NPCs from now on.

(via alter-ego-333)

ginjaninja3716:

commandereyebrows:

chachipistachis:

theamericankid:

Tumblr needs more of this….whatever this is.

Is this the same artist who made the original for this

image

how women actually are

OH MY GOD IF I DON’T EVER REBLOG THIS IT’S PROBABLY BECAUSE I’M DEAD

(via nella-hex)

remyxpietro:

nosdrinker:

it’s happening

Imma frick them

remyxpietro:

nosdrinker:

it’s happening

Imma frick them

(via fridjitzu)